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Social Media Comparison

social media comparison issues

My two cents on social media comparison.

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Nashville fashion blogger

social media comparison issues

social media comparison

nashville fashion

social media comparison

Dark Cheetah Jacket | Faux Leather Mini Skirt | Over The Knee Boots | Sunglasses

I made it my New Year’s Resolution to live a more intentional and purposeful life. If I’m being honest, I was getting really bored writing about another outfit with no substance to blogging past that. Now, I still love sharing great fashion finds don’t get me wrong. So I’ll still be posting fashion shots, but I want to share meaningful things alongside them. So yes, these pictures are not a realistic day for me. It sure is fun to get dressed up though!

The other day on one of our many holiday road trips I was listening to Julie Solomon’s Influencer podcast and The Skinny Confidential was the guest. Everything she was saying truly resonated with me. She said she had the opportunity to meet the ultimate girl boss, Bethenny Frankel. She asked her for one single piece of advice and Bethenny told her to, “be like Michael Phelps and stay in your own lane.”

I sat there and thought about that for the rest of the trip. How are you supposed to get to the finish line if you are constantly checking the other swimmers and drifting off into their lane? I’m the first to admit that I struggle in comparing myself to others, and being far too hard on myself at that.

Let’s just be real. Social media is everyone’s “Christmas card pictures.” (Myself included.) It’s not the blooper real. Life happens in between each picture perfect Instagram square.

For me, social media is used as a marketing tool for my blog. It’s also used as inspiration and more as an artistic medium than anything else. I do use Instastories as more of my “reality.”

I’m a mom to two babies. No I am not walking around with a full face of makeup and heels everyday. At any given moment there is baby throw up on my clothes, and there’s a great chance I haven’t had a moment to take a shower in at least three days. That’s reality. And that’s OK!

Fashion has always been a passion of mine. It feels good to get dressed up and put on a cute outfit. It makes me feel like myself and it’s fun. But the pictures that are on social media are simply the ideal. Not the everyday.

Now let’s take a minute to think about what happens when we don’t create our own happiness, but base it off of others. The biggest problem is when it starts to affect your self-esteem or when it causes anxiety or depression. (Anxious to keep up or sad that you don’t feel your life is adequate.) This is when it’s most important to focus on your own lane. Be happy for others when they post something fantastic, but realize behind closed doors they suffer from issues of their own. You never know what someone is going through.

For much of my life I just wanted to fit in. Wanted to feel “cool.” Even with blogging, when I first started I would see several girls posting the same sweater, for instance. I would feel pressure to go get that same sweater with the mind set that it must be selling well and I needed to follow suit to keep up. (Now hey, if you REALLY love that sweater, get the dang sweater.) BUT I’ve learned this is the completely wrong mind set. Who wants to see 10,000 pictures of the same sweater? When the school of fish is all swimming one way, I think that I would rather be the rainbow fish swimming against the stream.

The theme of social media comparison is dangerous. Make an effort to support others without comparing yourself to them. Competition is human nature. It’s great to put your best foot forward (Or best picture…) There’s nothing wrong with that. As long as we keep a healthy mind set and honest approach to how we look at ourselves and others.

This goes hand in hand with my New Year’s Resolution. You can read more about that HERE.

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17 Life Lessons from 2017

fashion blogger

17 Life Lessons from 2017

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2017 life lessons

life lessons

fashion blogger

fashion blogger

street style

street style

Camel Duster (I’m wearing an extra small for reference) | Black Booties | Faux Leather Leggings (these act as a shape wear and suck everything in! SO good.) Graphic Tee | Faux Fur Leopard Bag

If I’m being honest 2017 was a complete whirlwind and most days I felt like I was drowning. Wading water, at best. Adding Wilder into our family was amazing, but adapting to life as a mom of two under two is trying. Rewarding, amazing, full hearts, full hands, but difficult in every shape of the word. The year is a bit of a blur, but having some help over the holiday season has given me a few moments to reflect. I also turned to my husband and asked him areas he’s thought I have grown or lessons to have an outsider perspective as well. So here goes. 17 life lessons I’ve learned this year:

Patience. It’s truly the key to everything in motherhood. It’s also one of those “easier said than done” type of things. Also, with sleep comes patience. With babies there is serious sleep deprivation so I’ve had to really dig deep sometimes.

2. To have good friends, you must be a good friend. Becoming a mother of two has also limited my amount of “free time.” It’s become hard for me to keep up with all of my friends as well as I want to. I’ve tried my best to surround myself with positive friendships and nurture them in the free moments I do have. The smallest gesture can go such a long way. You really have to nurture your relationships for them to grow. I noticed the ones that I didn’t have drifted off, and the ones I’ve put in effort have flourished. (A 2018 goal is to water those friendships even more.)

3. Family first. It’s just that simple. (This includes friends that we consider family.)

4. Sometimes you have to “give in” to your partner. You can’t win ever argument. Know when to fight your battles and when to wave the white flag.

5. I’ve given up “FOMO.” Yes, I still have it at times, but I’ve come to terms with it. With babies, I can’t be at ever party, I can’t be the last person standing at the party, etc. Also, am I really “missing out” when I’m at home with my kids? I don’t consider it that. Right where I need to be.

6. You get to chose your thoughts. A friend of mine brought this to my attention and I sat with that thought for a long time. If you chose to put your energy into thinking positive thoughts, that will surround you. YOU have the power of your own thoughts. It’s a practice that takes lots of time to perfect, but so very powerful.

7. Put the phone down. I read the book HANDS FREE MAMA. Highly recommend it to everyone. There is ___ version that is geared towards everyone (not just moms.) Given the nature of blogging, I do still spend a lot of time on my phone. However, it’s significantly less. When Trey gets home from work and we are making dinner and playing with the boys we have made a great effort to put our phones down and soak in that precious time.

8. Work smarter, not harder. I feel like I spent a full year trying to figure out the blogging world. I remember when I first had George and he would nap I would just sit on my computer waiting for emails to come in. These days I have so little time that I had to learn this lesson out of necissity. I don’t waste my time with anything that isn’t concentrated and beneficial efforts.

9. Your best is enough. Still struggling with this one still. I truly try every day to be a good wife, good mom, good business woman, good friend, etc. There are days where I fall short on one of them, and there are days where I fall short on all of them. BUT, if I’m truly trying my best to be the best I can on all of those fronts… that’s enough.

10. Teamwork makes the dreamwork. I really feel like Trey and I have become REALLY good “teammates” aka parents. We know how to get in there and each take on tasks to get the job done. No relationship is perfect, but this is something (when it comes to dealing with the boys) that we have learned to excel in.

11. You are who you surround yourself with. Pick wisely!

12. LEARN from these life lessons. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve repeated mistakes. As a mom I’m really trying to be a better example. Learn from the life lessons (even if they come the hard way) and move on.

13. It’s ok to spend time to yourself. (Don’t get me wrong this literally only happens every 2 or 3 weeks to get my nails done..) I always feel guilty, but when I come home happy everyone else is a little happier too.

Here are the things Trey noticed that I’ve gotten better at this year:

14. Communication avoids fights. So many little arguments are actually just miscommunications. My favorite answer to “what’s wrong” has always been “nothing.” It’s easier to just lay it out there and communicate about grievances.

15. Save money. (He might be SLIGHTLY confused on this one.) I have made a much better effort. Not sure if my execution has been perfected just yet.

Reflection is so important because it leads to growth! I’d love to hear everyones lessons or ways they have grown in 2017.

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Blue Suede….Jacket

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I have been in full on “nesting” mode here lately. My mom, sister, and childhood best friend are graciously throwing me a shower this coming weekend, so I wanted to make sure everything was ready to prep before we head up to St.Louis for that! This Blue suede jacket was love at first sight!  It’s the perfect piece to brighten up the winter wardrobe and transition into spring. It made it easy to throw on and head out to run errands with Trey. SHOPBOP is having their BIG tier sale, perfect time to scoop up this jacket and save a few bucks on it. 😉  Most of the weekend was spent organizing, grocery shopping, and searching for baby gear. Luckily, our Nordstrom has a great baby section! We were even able to stop in at a 4D ultrasound clinic to check in with our little guy. It really puts things in perspective when I’m feeling all of the typical third trimester uncomfortable feels. Hope everyone had a happy weekend!

Xo,

Ash

Blue Suede Jacket | Scarf | Shoes | Sunglasses | Black Distressed Denim