Positive Parenting – Simple Tips To Be A More Patient/Positive Parent
Let me start by saying, mom life is hard. It’s that simple. Putting someone’s needs before your own 100% of the time, dealing with mom guilt, and feeling overwhelmed is just plain hard. However, you can make an intentional decision to practice positive parenting and patience. This can be beneficial to everyone involved!
There is sometimes a misunderstanding that positive parenting equates to children that are not respectful or not accountable for their actions. It’s actually quite the opposite! Instead of belittling children with yelling, you talk to them in a calm and respectful way.
Children mimic the actions and words of their parents. You can tell them how to act all day long, but at the end of the day they will emulate your actions. That’s some powerful stuff when you stop to think about it!
Every family and child is different and what works for one family may not work for another. These are some practices we use in our household that work for us!
10 Tips To Positive Parenting-
1. Try to understand why your child is acting out and acknowledge their feelings first. It’s so hard as a mom to deal with temper tantrums (especially when they are in public.) I try to remind myself that it must be so hard for them to have all of these feelings, and not understand how to properly express them. Start by saying, “I understand it must be so hard to ______.” This teaches empathy and understanding.
2. It’s ok to step away. Sometimes it just seems too much to handle. Instead of letting the problem escalate, step away. Take a deep breath. Re-access the situation and then walk back in the room to handle. So simple, but works!
3. Talk, don’t yell. I’ve found anytime I yell, they hear nothing I am saying. It reverts their focus to the yelling. Simply talking with them and helping them understand is far more beneficial.
“Yelling silences your message. Speak quietly so your children can hear your words instead of just your voice.” – L.R. Knost
4. Before bed each night we make a point to fill the boys up with positive affirmations. Letting them go to bed feeling proud and loved is so powerful. Here are some simple ones:
– I’m grateful for you.
– You are so loved.
– I was so proud of you for sharing your toys with your brother today.
– You are so creative and did a great job coloring today.
– Great job being so patient at the grocery store.
5. Start each morning with positive affirmation/gratitude.
– It’s going to be a great day!
– I’m so grateful to get to play with you today.
– Let’s be kind to our brother today.
6. Replace negative language with positive language. (This one is hard at first, but once you’ve made the switch it comes second nature.)
“No running!” = “Walk, please.”
7. Surround yourself with like minded parents/children. This is like the age old saying, “You are who you surround yourself by.” Finding other parents who are positive and surrounding your children by them is crucial! If they are seeing discipline that contradicts yours regularly, they find that to be the norm.
8. Acknowledge when you are wrong. Let’s be real, we are all going to slip up. If you do yell or snap, be sure to acknowledge and apologize. They will mimic this when they are in the wrong. “I’m sorry mommy yelled, I know that isn’t kind and is disrespectful.”
9. Empower your children and teach them to empower others.
Phrases like, “I know that was a hard tower to build, but you stuck with it and did a great job!”
10. Show your child respect. Seems simple, but we often don’t think of children to deserve respect in the same manner as adults. When we are respectful and nurturing to a child, not only do they learn this behavior, but it helps them with learning, coping with stress and even memory.
I HIGHLY recommend the book The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline . Also, the TV show “Daniel Tiger” on PBS (based off of Mr.Rogers) is great on showing positive behaviors and kindness. I have another blog post on raising kind kids that you can read HERE.
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