Enjoying the “Small Stuff” – Wilder’s First Haircut
Yesterday I had all intentions of coming up with another “Christmas outing” to take the boys on.
You know, Christmas lights, Santa, Ice Show, Polar Express.. the list is endless.
The weather was terrible and Wilder was recovering from an ear infections, so we made the decision to just stay in instead. By “stay in” I mean we never got out of our pajamas until bath time. To change into a different pair of pajamas.
IT.WAS.MAGICAL. The boys were so fun as we built forts, cooked together, snuggled, danced to Christmas music, and truly enjoyed each others company.
If only I could have pressed pause on the life control remote…
But we can’t. In fact a lot of times it feels like we are running in “fast forward” instead. What we CAN do to savor these precious moments (whatever that stage of life is for you) is slow the rush and enjoy the “small stuff.”
Recently, we all went along for Wilder’s first haircut at Barbour 3. It was a special “small stuff” moment that we could have just rushed through like any other haircut.
Instead, we went as a family. We ate suckers, cheered him on and made the most of it.
This holiday season, if you have a bit of time off from the normal hustle and bustle, I hope you can relish in the “small stuff.” Stay in your pajamas all day. Serve your community with a group of friends.
Truly be “present” and relish the quality time with family and friends.
Positive Parenting – Simple Tips To Be A More Patient/Positive Parent
Let me start by saying, mom life is hard. It’s that simple. Putting someone’s needs before your own 100% of the time, dealing with mom guilt, and feeling overwhelmed is just plain hard. However, you can make an intentional decision to practice positive parenting and patience. This can be beneficial to everyone involved!
There is sometimes a misunderstanding that positive parenting equates to children that are not respectful or not accountable for their actions. It’s actually quite the opposite! Instead of belittling children with yelling, you talk to them in a calm and respectful way.
Children mimic the actions and words of their parents. You can tell them how to act all day long, but at the end of the day they will emulate your actions. That’s some powerful stuff when you stop to think about it!
Every family and child is different and what works for one family may not work for another. These are some practices we use in our household that work for us!
10 Tips To Positive Parenting-
1. Try to understand why your child is acting out and acknowledge their feelings first. It’s so hard as a mom to deal with temper tantrums (especially when they are in public.) I try to remind myself that it must be so hard for them to have all of these feelings, and not understand how to properly express them. Start by saying, “I understand it must be so hard to ______.” This teaches empathy and understanding.
2. It’s ok to step away. Sometimes it just seems too much to handle. Instead of letting the problem escalate, step away. Take a deep breath. Re-access the situation and then walk back in the room to handle. So simple, but works!
3. Talk, don’t yell. I’ve found anytime I yell, they hear nothing I am saying. It reverts their focus to the yelling. Simply talking with them and helping them understand is far more beneficial.
“Yelling silences your message. Speak quietly so your children can hear your words instead of just your voice.” – L.R. Knost
4. Before bed each night we make a point to fill the boys up with positive affirmations. Letting them go to bed feeling proud and loved is so powerful. Here are some simple ones:
– I’m grateful for you.
– You are so loved.
– I was so proud of you for sharing your toys with your brother today.
– You are so creative and did a great job coloring today.
– Great job being so patient at the grocery store.
5. Start each morning with positive affirmation/gratitude.
– It’s going to be a great day!
– I’m so grateful to get to play with you today.
– Let’s be kind to our brother today.
6. Replace negative language with positive language. (This one is hard at first, but once you’ve made the switch it comes second nature.)
Example:
“No running!” = “Walk, please.”
7. Surround yourself with like minded parents/children. This is like the age old saying, “You are who you surround yourself by.” Finding other parents who are positive and surrounding your children by them is crucial! If they are seeing discipline that contradicts yours regularly, they find that to be the norm.
8. Acknowledge when you are wrong. Let’s be real, we are all going to slip up. If you do yell or snap, be sure to acknowledge and apologize. They will mimic this when they are in the wrong. “I’m sorry mommy yelled, I know that isn’t kind and is disrespectful.”
9. Empower your children and teach them to empower others.
Phrases like, “I know that was a hard tower to build, but you stuck with it and did a great job!”
10. Show your child respect. Seems simple, but we often don’t think of children to deserve respect in the same manner as adults. When we are respectful and nurturing to a child, not only do they learn this behavior, but it helps them with learning, coping with stress and even memory.
I HIGHLY recommend the book The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline . Also, the TV show “Daniel Tiger” on PBS (based off of Mr.Rogers) is great on showing positive behaviors and kindness. I have another blog post on raising kind kids that you can read HERE.
P.S. We LOVE these Rowdy Sprout band tees. As a music business family we totally respect that they ethically receive the rights to the band’s logos. They are so soft and cozy! USE CODE: “IMYOURBEAU” for 10% off on their site!
This rollercoaster ride known as parenthood is a wild one. Emotions are amplified and you feel the shrill of the highs and the stomach dropping low of the lows.
Our babies’ milestones become so bittersweet. The pride I feel when they take their first crawl is swept over by the grieving their need for me to be mobile. The smiles and cheers while singing “Happy Birthday” are accompanied by the feeling of loss and sadness over the sweet baby years. It’s wild I tell ya!
Being a mom changes my life perspective in so many ways. I love deeper, laugh harder, and empathize more. It’s the joy of my life.
As sleepless and challenging as these baby days are, I still find myself clinging to them. They are so precious, and going by so very fast.
I want to remember every quirky way they pronounce a word, giggle, and cry. I know I’m that annoying mom taking pictures and videos non stop, but I want to capture these moments in time.
If I had a magic genie in a bottle I would ask to freeze time right now.
We are often told, “You are in the trenches right now.” This is true. Some days it feels like I have a house arrest bracelet on my ankle. The nap schedules of both babies can never seem to synch up where I have a moment to myself. There is no sitting down. It’s going from one diaper to the next. Someone always needs soothed, food, diapered, changed, or played with. I’ve absolutely lost myself, but I have lost myself in them. That I am ok with.
Georgie is curious, insanely smart, temperamental, funny, sweet, and a mamas boy. He loves puppies, jumping on the bed, building block towers only to knock them over, animal sounds, music, PAW Patrol, My Gym, bubbles, golf carts, and mostly just being outside.
We love him so much and are so proud of the little boy that he is becoming. He always says “please” and “thank you”. He gives Wilder is paci and tells him “it’s ok Wy Wy” when he is crying. He keeps are cardio up by chasing him around. My heart is full from the sweet “I love you mama and dadas” he now so lovingly says at bedtime.
Bittersweet birthdays. Reason to celebrate, but time please slow down.
Meet, Kristee! My sister is three years younger than me and after many years of fighting over clothes and well, just about everything, we are now truly best friends. She’s expecting her first baby, Bo, in May. (On Trey and I’s anniversary!) G and Wilder are excited to be big cousins, and I’m so excited for her to join the mom club. Since she’s been pregnant and moved to South Carolina, we have become even closer. We talk every single day, and typically a FaceTime or two as well.
Kristee is the most innately mothering soul I’ve ever met. She lives for babies and children. Not only is she a teacher, but she also spends her free time working with kids in after school programs at the Y and various other organizations. Kristee is not a “show up and get out” kind of person. Each child is so special to her, and she makes deep connections with them and their families. I’m proud of the woman that she has become.
Unfortunately, teachers don’t make even close to what they are worth. It blows my mind that the people that shape our children’s future are so financially undervalued. If you are a parent you know, diapers are NOT cheap. I heard about Incredibundles I knew that I had to nominate her and help her try to relieve the financial burden and win diapers!
Here is more information straight from them, if you would like to enter for yourself or someone special that you know!! I mean, who doesn’t want to win diapers?!
IncrediBundles.com – the home of the bestselling Year of Diapers babygift – wants to make life easier for one mom by giving her A Year of Diapers! We want you to nominate a mom (can be you, a friend, coworker or family member) and share a photo or video of them on Instagram using the hashtag #WinDiapers telling us in the caption what their story is (why did you nominate them? what makes them the best mom ever?). The post that gets the most likes wins! Giveaway starts on 2/26 and ends 11:59pm EST 3/11. Follow Incredibundles.com
for more chances to win!
Want to know more about giving a Diaper Subscription from IncrediBundles.com? It’s the foolproof baby gift chosen by thousands of gift-givers across the country. IncrediBundles.com is the home of the ultimate baby gift – a Diaper Subscription where your recipient gets to choose the brand and size diapers they would like to receive each month. Gift-givers can give a 3-Month, 6-Month, 9-Month or 12-Month Diaper Subscription. Check it out: HERE.
Here’s how an IncrediBundles.com Diaper Subscription works. Upon your purchase of a 3, 6, 9 or 12-month Diaper Subscription, IncrediBundles.com sends an adorable announcement package featuring a beautiful plush teddy bear nestled in one of the company’s chic, trademark storage containers. The teddy bear holds a certificate that announces your gift. This certificate features a unique code your recipient will use to activate her subscription. Then, each month, your recipient can log in to their subscription and select the brand and size diapers they would like delivered straight to their door that month. IncrediBundles.com features all of the major brands – Pampers, Huggies, Luvs and Members Mark.
IncrediBundles.com can send the announcement package directly to your recipient or to you, the purchaser, to present at a baby shower. It’s that easy!
You can see my entry for my sweet sister on Instagram HERE. . I’d love it you would “like” and help her win diapers!
Whew. What a week! Let me preface this by saying I am SO SO SO grateful to be in this new home. Also, very grateful to our amazing realtor and our family for making it all happen. (Luckily, Trey’s mom drove up from Alabama to watch the boys and allow us to focus on packing/moving and my parents right after.) BUT. It has been one of the most stressful and hectic times.
I was really sentimental about leaving that home. It was the first home Trey and I owned together, and also where we got married and brought both of our babies home. It holds so many precious memories to me.
We were extremely picky when it came to choosing our house. For a long time we thought we would build. (Plans were drawn up and builders were even picked.) After deciding that wasn’t the right move we looked at countless houses and even put in full price offers in this competitive market. The saying “what’s meant to be will always find a way” turned out to be so true in this case. I couldn’t imagine any of those other homes being the one we would make memories with these sweet boys in.
We ended up closing on both our old home and new home on the same day. Which was great, but also meant we had a VERY short turn around time to physically move out of our old home.
We started packing it all up about two weeks before the actual move. With the holidays, Trey’s crazy work schedule and general life with two littles…. that still wasn’t enough time. We were physically running as fast as we could up and down the stairs making loads to and from the old house at the end.
Our closing also happened to fall on the days of the winter storm. Most people weren’t even leaving their house, but we managed to make it all happen. Mainly in part to our (very patient) and amazing realtors. If you are in the Nashville area, I truly could not recommend Scott Knabe and Britton Kinnard any more. They helped us physically pack and move loads in his own car. They went as far as to bring us pizza and wine the night of the move.
Trey had to leave for work two days after we moved in so we weren’t able to truly get much done before he left. The majority of the unpacking and settling (while watching the babes) has fallen on me. Right as he left I got a stomach virus as well as both boys. Let me just tell you there is nothing harder than being sick with two sick kids!
I’ve been slowly unpacking, but it’s just going to be a long slow process. I’m so excited to bring my Pintrest boards to life and decorate each room how I’ve always dreamed. (Over time, of course.)
Georgie is still very confused as to what is going on and it’s caused him some anxiety. Some things that have helped were setting up his room exactly as it was, and keeping his stuffed animal and snuggly in there with him at all times.
Needless to say, most of the house is still in boxes scattered randomly around. One of the first things I unpacked were the kids Dockatots. They slept in those and they have been a LIFESAVER. If you don’t have one, you need one. I tell everyone that it is my one baby item that I couldn’t live without. If you aren’t familiar with Dockatot it’s a rest/play/lounge device made with hygienic fabrics that don’t harbor heat, but yet is snug and soothing. We like to travel with them, because they are portable. It was good to keep something familiar with the boys. They came out with this carrara marble cover, and I had to have it!
It’s starting to feel like home and I love that! Our neighbors have all been so inviting and warm so far. One brought us dinner and wine, and one brought cookies and invited G to a playdate. Can’t beat that!
If I’m being honest 2017 was a complete whirlwind and most days I felt like I was drowning. Wading water, at best. Adding Wilder into our family was amazing, but adapting to life as a mom of two under two is trying. Rewarding, amazing, full hearts, full hands, but difficult in every shape of the word. The year is a bit of a blur, but having some help over the holiday season has given me a few moments to reflect. I also turned to my husband and asked him areas he’s thought I have grown or lessons to have an outsider perspective as well. So here goes. 17 life lessons I’ve learned this year:
Patience. It’s truly the key to everything in motherhood. It’s also one of those “easier said than done” type of things. Also, with sleep comes patience. With babies there is serious sleep deprivation so I’ve had to really dig deep sometimes.
2. To have good friends, you must be a good friend. Becoming a mother of two has also limited my amount of “free time.” It’s become hard for me to keep up with all of my friends as well as I want to. I’ve tried my best to surround myself with positive friendships and nurture them in the free moments I do have. The smallest gesture can go such a long way. You really have to nurture your relationships for them to grow. I noticed the ones that I didn’t have drifted off, and the ones I’ve put in effort have flourished. (A 2018 goal is to water those friendships even more.)
3. Family first. It’s just that simple. (This includes friends that we consider family.)
4. Sometimes you have to “give in” to your partner. You can’t win ever argument. Know when to fight your battles and when to wave the white flag.
5. I’ve given up “FOMO.” Yes, I still have it at times, but I’ve come to terms with it. With babies, I can’t be at ever party, I can’t be the last person standing at the party, etc. Also, am I really “missing out” when I’m at home with my kids? I don’t consider it that. Right where I need to be.
6. You get to chose your thoughts. A friend of mine brought this to my attention and I sat with that thought for a long time. If you chose to put your energy into thinking positive thoughts, that will surround you. YOU have the power of your own thoughts. It’s a practice that takes lots of time to perfect, but so very powerful.
7. Put the phone down. I read the book HANDS FREE MAMA. Highly recommend it to everyone. There is ___ version that is geared towards everyone (not just moms.) Given the nature of blogging, I do still spend a lot of time on my phone. However, it’s significantly less. When Trey gets home from work and we are making dinner and playing with the boys we have made a great effort to put our phones down and soak in that precious time.
8. Work smarter, not harder. I feel like I spent a full year trying to figure out the blogging world. I remember when I first had George and he would nap I would just sit on my computer waiting for emails to come in. These days I have so little time that I had to learn this lesson out of necissity. I don’t waste my time with anything that isn’t concentrated and beneficial efforts.
9. Your best is enough. Still struggling with this one still. I truly try every day to be a good wife, good mom, good business woman, good friend, etc. There are days where I fall short on one of them, and there are days where I fall short on all of them. BUT, if I’m truly trying my best to be the best I can on all of those fronts… that’s enough.
10. Teamwork makes the dreamwork. I really feel like Trey and I have become REALLY good “teammates” aka parents. We know how to get in there and each take on tasks to get the job done. No relationship is perfect, but this is something (when it comes to dealing with the boys) that we have learned to excel in.
11. You are who you surround yourself with. Pick wisely!
12. LEARN from these life lessons. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve repeated mistakes. As a mom I’m really trying to be a better example. Learn from the life lessons (even if they come the hard way) and move on.
13. It’s ok to spend time to yourself. (Don’t get me wrong this literally only happens every 2 or 3 weeks to get my nails done..) I always feel guilty, but when I come home happy everyone else is a little happier too.
Here are the things Trey noticed that I’ve gotten better at this year:
14. Communication avoids fights. So many little arguments are actually just miscommunications. My favorite answer to “what’s wrong” has always been “nothing.” It’s easier to just lay it out there and communicate about grievances.
15. Save money. (He might be SLIGHTLY confused on this one.) I have made a much better effort. Not sure if my execution has been perfected just yet.
Reflection is so important because it leads to growth! I’d love to hear everyones lessons or ways they have grown in 2017.
We are SO happy to introduce Wilder and share his birth story! As many books as you read, tid bits of advice people send your way, preparations you make, there is nothing that can truly prepare you for the arrival of a new baby.
I had a little bit of deja vu when it came to delivery time, because I felt like I had just done this. I’m grateful that I was able to have two healthy pregnancies. I’m equally grateful he is in my arms and I’m no longer pregnant! I’ve spent 19 of the last 24 months pregnant, and that is NOT easy.
Georgie had IUGR and throughout the entire pregnancy Wilder was also measuring small. The doctor thought that he might have it too, and we were prepared to deliver him at 37 weeks (same as G). However, towards the end of the pregnancy he started showing major improvements in his growth. I ended up making it to the 39 week 4 day mark.
My doctor elected for an induced labor, because of my rib pain. We were planning on inducing right at the 39th week, but my doctor was out of town.
It’s always a strange feeling knowing the exact time and day you are going in to have a baby. It’s so strange to have on your calendar “5am have a baby.” I truly liked it, because I was able to have everything planned. The day before we had him I spent tons of quality time with G, and crossed all my t’s and dot my i’s with packing, having the house prepped, food prep, etc.
The night before we were scheduled to go in I couldn’t sleep at all. My nerves got the best of me. I really wasn’t too anxious about the pain or the actual labor, but the fact of bringing home a newborn with a 14 month old. Now that’s terrifying! By about 3 am I just stood up and started pacing around for about an hour until it was time to get ready to go. We got there so early that we walked up to the doors and they were still closed. Needless to say at 4:59 am we walked back up, and were the first people there. They got me straight up to the room, but from there it was a lot of sit around and wait.
They started my pitocin drip around 6:45 a.m. I went in at about 2cm’s dilated. I chose to not get the epidural at first so that I would be able to get up and walk around to help progress labor. I started doing hundreds of squats. No joke. Every five minutes I did 30 squats, and I did that for almost 2 hours. It helped me keep my mind off of everything.
Trying to keep this the abridged version without to many gory details… After a few hours of this, the doctor came in and broke my water. Things went from fairly uneventful to extreme so quickly. My contractions got so intense so fast that I could barely stay still enough to receive the epidural. (I was having back labor…so it was extremely painful!) I had jumped to 8 cm. So I was so glad to have that magic little shot!
After the epidural, I was able to relax, and even fell asleep. The very next time that the nurse came in I was at a 10. HOWEVER, he was still up pretty high, and the doc was delivering another baby so they had me wait a little while longer to push.
The pushing process started at about 3 pm. They told me that they thought he would be a “one push baby”. We quickly learned that would not be the case… He was “face up”. (G was this way as well.) They even had me break after pushing. The doctor went and delivered yet another baby, and they put me in the “pretzel.” It’s pretty much what it sounds like… Yikes. After hearing what seemed like the fifth baby chime come over the hospital speakers, it was our turn!
There is nothing in the world like seeing your sweet baby for the first time. A love that is truly indescribable! Those sweet first cries completely overwhelm you with emotion.
Our parents, and some of our siblings and nieces and nephews were all able to come in and meet sweet Wilder. No one knew the name, so it was fun for everyone to see the sign on the door for the first time!
The first visitor was Georgie! He wasn’t very interested at first, but has been sweet since we have brought him home.
I know it’s cliche to say, but we are very, VERY blessed. Tired but happy at the Wilson household.
